Letting my baby grow up...
Nov 20, 2013
I think the hardest challenge I am facing right now, as the arrival of our second child rapidly approaches, is letting our first baby go. I don't feel ready for it...at all. When I think about Mads not being the baby anymore...I cry a little inside (or maybe a lot). On those random nights that Mads lets me rock and cuddle her before I plop her into bed, I get super weepy when I'm reminded that those moments are fleeting. Yeh, I know. We will still cuddle and there will still be those special times when it'll just be her and I...when we can share special little moments. I know. Still. It'll be different!
Different isn't bad, of course. It's just....different. It'll be a big change. Moo will no longer be the primary receiver of our attention and affections. She will have to move on over and share the love...which I am almost 99.9% sure she will greet with a bit of resistance at first (maybe not, but I have a feeling). I am hoping and praying she doesn't have a tough time with it all, because my mama heart will just break into pieces.
I'm definitely over-thinking it all, as I do with most things. grr. Mads will be just fine. There will be some tantrums and bad days, but she'll do great. I'm sure she'll naturally take over that big sis role...and love it. I personally didn't mind bossing around my 5 younger siblings ;). Having been the oldest though, I know how hard it can be...and I think that's why I am feeling a bit of extra sadness for our Mads girl right now. Her small little world where she is THE ONLY ONE...the primary focus...is about to disappear. *sniff* That makes me so sad! Why does it make me so sad?? *sigh*
Everything will be okay. I know that it will.
Life will go on...baby boy will arrive, we'll transition, make changes and all end up being happier because of it. I know that's true.
Right now it's just hard to accept...
I've got to let our baby grow up.
(in a couple of months!!! She's still my baby now. So there. :)