I think the hardest challenge I am facing right now, as the arrival of our second child rapidly approaches, is letting our first baby go. I don't feel ready for it...at all. When I think about Mads not being the baby anymore...I cry a little inside (or maybe a lot). On those random nights that Mads lets me rock and cuddle her before I plop her into bed, I get super weepy when I'm reminded that those moments are fleeting. Yeh, I know. We will still cuddle and there will still be those special times when it'll just be her and I...when we can share special little moments. I know. Still. It'll be different!

Different isn't bad, of course. It's just....different. It'll be a big change. Moo will no longer be the primary receiver of our attention and affections. She will have to move on over and share the love...which I am almost 99.9% sure she will greet with a bit of resistance at first (maybe not, but I have a feeling). I am hoping and praying she doesn't have a tough time with it all, because my mama heart will just break into pieces.

I'm definitely over-thinking it all, as I do with most things. grr. Mads will be just fine. There will be some tantrums and bad days, but she'll do great. I'm sure she'll naturally take over that big sis role...and love it. I personally didn't mind bossing around my 5 younger siblings ;). Having been the oldest though, I know how hard it can be...and I think that's why I am feeling a bit of extra sadness for our Mads girl right now. Her small little world where she is THE ONLY ONE...the primary focus...is about to disappear. *sniff* That makes me so sad! Why does it make me so sad?? *sigh*

Everything will be okay. I know that it will.

Life will go on...baby boy will arrive, we'll transition, make changes and all end up being happier because of it. I know that's true.

Right now it's just hard to accept...

I've got to let our baby grow up.

(in a couple of months!!! She's still my baby now. So there. :)

Why I Blog.

I've thought about this question many, many times. 
Why do I blog? 
With the launch of the new design this week, I decided it was time to really share with you readers why it is that I do what I do here. ...b/c you so want to know. I know. 
I really just like prancing around in front of the camera with my toddler running around me, getting into things...and then posting pictures for others to gawk at. Totally. 
Noooope. When it comes to outfit posts...my sole wish is that I will inspire other women. It is so easy to give up on style as we go through the many changes life brings (physical changes, babies, tough economic hardships, etc). Trust me. I know. I've been there before as a new mom. I felt over-tired, out of it and uninspired. I would literally stand in front of my closet and cry. It was depressing. All I wanted was to feel like myself again, to feel beautiful for my husband and to embrace every second with my new little baby, but...I found I was just drowning in it all instead of flourishing. 
Through blogging I was able to prove to myself that it is possible to look and feel good, takes only a little bit of effort, doesn't have to break a budget...and can make you feel so much better. Now my aim is to help other ladies get out of style ruts...or simply just find an outfit to wear this weekend ;).
side note: I am actually not a real fan of outfit shoots in public...makes me feel silly...like I'm putting myself on display. Most of the time I just pretend I'm doing family pictures with Moo. haha. 
So. How did it all begin? What made me make the jump and start this blog? A lot of work, people. A real business plan. 
Ha! No. Mads was about 2 months old and had just gone down for one of those mama-saving marathon naps, so I sat down at my computer to check Facebook (one of my few social outlets at the time) and then...I just started thinking. I need to do something, Cams (this is me talking to myself, btw)- something constructive that will propel me forward in some way. I know! Start a blog. DO it. I popped onto Blogger, set-up an account and bam...Life in Mod was born. I didn't know what I was doing or what I would even do with it, but I had a blog and it was all mine. For the first time in a couple of months, I felt like a bit of myself was coming back to me. It was awesome. 
Now I'm totally rocking this blog and making tons of money. 
Nope to all of that. It's still a lot of work to keep up with and while I do consider this place my little stay-at-home business, it doesn't pay all of the bills. My husband can definitely confirm that for you ;). I do make a bit, which is totally cool, but what this place is really all about to me is being able to share creativity, style and mom experiences with others. Getting paid is one thing, but getting an e-mail or comment from a reader that tells me how much they appreciate what they just read or how much it helped & inspired them to put together an outfit...that's what really gets me. Stuff like that is what makes all of this worth it. 
Life in Mod has been such a blessing to me these last couple of years. I just want to pass on some of that goodness to others that visit here. 
That's why I blog. 
FYI, here's one of my very first posts. Funny seeing it now. 

Real Talk: making time to play with my toddler

So...I'm not a good player. I'm really not.

 I'll just put that out there right now. Ha. It baffles me how some moms seem able to entertain and play games with their kids all day...props to you, mama!  I am a good worrier though! I worry sometimes if I play with my daughter enough, if I give her enough undivided attention on a daily basis..etc. It may seem silly, but it is something I think about. I don't want to be a boring and too-busy-to-bother mum!
I clean my house, I tackle blog work, I cook, we go on walks and to the park...and during all of that I am present to Moo. She's always with me, following me...we toddler chat back-and-forth and of course I fulfill her needs. Still. I sometimes feel like I need to make a bigger effort to slowwww down and just sit with her once a day- no iPhone, computer or anything like it allowed within a 10 foot radius...b/c as you can see I couldn't resist Instagram-ing her coloring ;). lol. 
I don't even think I need to "entertain" her, per say. I just need to be fully present. Ya dig? Anyone else dealing with this? 
So...I started something new this morning- something I hope will stick and make Moo and I closer in a new and special way.  I put everything down at 9 am and simply sat with her, played "bocks" (blocks) and colored on two big sheets of paper on the floor, & read books...for 1 hour. Just 1 hour. I could see she was soaking it up...I think she was surprised almost that I wasn't rushing off to tackle the next project. Most days I am running around like a mad woman- keeping our home clean, errands, working on the blog and meeting other deadlines.  I noticed how this time was not only calming for her but for me also. It was actually really lovely!
Day-to-day mom life can be crazy. So crazy.  I almost get lost in it sometimes, but I am coming to the realization that I need...need to make some time for my little toddler. One day she may not have the luxury of having just me for an hour every day...or she may not even want it anymore *sniff*. I want us both to have that time now. I'm going to do my best to make it a daily priority. :)
Anyways, that's my little random Real Talk ramble. I'd love to hear from you too!
ps. I am wayyy behind in the Wallis competition, but I think I can make it to the top 5...only with your votes! :) Vote here.         

Mod Mamahood: a pause.

It has been difficult to be present on my blog recently. 

I have had some things re-surface this past month in my personal life.

I can't share with you at this time even though they are very heavy things that I am sure would feel great to let out.

It would not be respectful or sensitive towards those involved, etc...you know.

Things like this have a way of effecting every tiny, little part of one's life. I have seen it even here, on my blog. I have felt a lack of my usual excitement to post and as a result I have seen my page views drop quite considerably.

This is not me guilting you for not visiting my blog often enough, by the way.

Ha-ha. Promise.

Rather, I would like to just pause.

Breathe. 
Reassess. 

I don't want to post a "How-to Style" or "shop it" like I had planned. 

I just don't. 

There are so many ways in which I have been blessed.

I need to see this. I must see this right now.

* on a side note, my wonderful hubs got me the Canon I have been drooling over for months (hence the pic above). he drove 45 min on his lunch break to pick it up. what a guy. see, there's one huge blessing :)*

Real Talk: Baby # 2?

Thanks, YouTube for the best opening shot of me. 

Oooooh baby # 2. 

It makes me feel all giddy, and yet...completely & utterly terrified.

 

You?

New Year's Resolutions- What hinders you? [Real Talk].

The New Year is upon us.

Resolutions and goals, here we come.

Are they realistic or way too far off from the accomplish-able?

Be honest and realistic with yourself.

Think about what challenged you in 2011.

It will probably (most definitely) continue to challenge you in 2012.

I know that I try to tackle new things every year, but usually fail because I don't recognize what I really need to focus on.

[Real Talk] time!

---------------

On a side note, not related to this at all...

add some bling to ring in your New Year.

See, see....no focus. 

Haha.

PPD, Baby Blues, HORMONES [Real Talk]

This is my postpartum story.

...

What was it like for you after baby came?
Did you suffer or are you suffering with Post Partum Depression, baby blues...or just plain old hormonal imbalances?

Share your story.

If you're an expectant mama, what do you expect after baby comes?




It's time for Real Talk @ Life in Mod.


*no baby choked and died in the making of this video*